byzantine

love,
i about feelings.
not about the sexuality,
not about the portrayed.
waitng in vain,
and nothing that hard.
soon,
everything will puzzle up to what it seems.
the bliss,
the re-searching.
re-organizing thoughts you once believed,
they bounced.
a simple smile,
realizing.

how easy is peacefullness,
juz an intellectual away.
nothing difficult,
we juz need to capture the idea of grasping our surroundings.
and then magic will work its wonders,
and bask us in such spirits,we couldn't believe.





yc

halve

between 2 women u love,
such intensity.
i love both,
my love couldn't be weighed.
there is no balance,
juz unlimited showering.
i cannot name one i prefer,
i'm trapped between this past.
i wonder how she'll let it go,
but i harbour the fantasy of indifference.

its a mist,
all too blur to distinguish.
putting down tis image,
is a simple,incomparable.
makin choices is alway hard,
but nevertheless,
we should expel all unhappiness and grumbles.
its about the smile we bring to the faces,
the ease in their hearts.
the toil they hav travelled to see us grow,
unaffordable is those care shined upon us.



yc

The Love Story(pictorial)

*muackz

yc

My Treasure

i felt like crying,
but i couldn't.
there's a stone in my throat,
my voice is trembling.
the heart beating at this rate,
anger,hatred,totally confused.
i'm trying to soothe myself with wine,
hopefully they'll enshroud my lugubrious.
i need tears,
tears that will ease my heart,my soul.

i couldn't cry,
i wonder why.
yet i sense the rage within me,
its me against myself.
i'm only a penny in heart of the gloaters,
my heart has changed,
to an ironical state.
comparations only makes me baleful,
i know i can't hold a candle to the free spirited.
am i gullible?
am i such an idiot?!

true friendship that always turn sour,
men,our barrier.
alone at this dysphoric hour,
i felt betrayal.
its not your fault,
but my thinking.
i will recover this evil cogitation,
i know from the bottom of my heart its my thinking that places our relation.

no...
i love you.
you are the only few friends i have,
my heart,my soul.
we will rekindle this comradeship,
let's chat for day and night again.
i will work hard towards this aim,
wait for me.

i love you,
my dearest friend.





yc

by-and-by

life at its stagnent point,
making decisions to a future.
i have no idea what lies ahead,
i only have sights of the sucessful.
i am thunderstrucked,
what should i do with this life of mine.
this life that remains for myself?
one shouldn't look back at decisions made,
but look forward optimistically at the future.
believe that hardwork will create wonders,
aiming towards the ideal life i've always hoped.
creating miracles by my own hands,
realizing talks of past.
becoming someone that makes topic,
affording the cost of travelling.
having the basics of being wherever u need me,
snapping moments of laughter.
clearing the barricade that steals my happiness,
locating this regret again.

i crave for this moment.
as time pass,
i will make my mark.
i will constantly cheer myself.

my life have travelled thus far,
and i will only improve it,
and not gyrate.


yc

approbation

neon lights,
gulfed in shadows.
beautiful people,
coupling together.
from where i sat,
i see an enlightment.
the true beauty of smiles,
the genuine sight of despise.

crazy rubble is my thoughts,
my laptop shows images of picture perfect.
then i turn to myself,
i skim myself,scrutinizing.
i have reduced to this schlemiel that no one fancy,
to you,i will be the expunged.
the unwilling to acknowledge my presence,
i knew its time for a change.
self-discipline,
precision of my mind.

how come one's popularity can differ so much,
can these factors be altered?
just like how we plan our career,
can hardwork really mend this flaw of a soul?
imponderable.





yc

myopic

thanks for being by my side,
my loneliness is not that hard.
althought love is a beautiful thing,
but we shouldn't long for it because of it's prettiness.
i shouldn't throw away my personality for this beauty.

love,must be awaited in patient.
laggard search for the correct one.
feelings are the leaders,
they are of the outmost importance.
i'll rather bare my hands,
in sincerity,await for the correct fingers to clench my hand.
i believe,
in this world,i'll definitely meet the one.
the soul that will enlighten me.

love is not a need,
its a harvest.
with effort thrown in,
care showered from the deepest most of the heart.

this is love,
this is what its all about.
any difference its otherwise.

we shouldn't be blinded by this necessity.
time may pass slowly,
but not unworthy.

never flaw love,
for this impulsiveness.





yc

(enlightenment from: Dai Ai Ling = Dui De Ren)

factuality

a girl,
when it comes to love.
should she go for the one she loves,
or the one that loves her.
with flaws embedden,
is there anymore people that will accept her for who she is?
the strong belief of feelings,
is straining her in all her decisions when it comes to love.
should she be dependent upon others,
or live life strong,
wait in patience.
wounds she have suffered,
is making her so hard to love again.
with no more hope in love,
she,must, now make sure she's happy.
she wants to be protected,
she want someone that will be at her beck of call.
fetches her to events she loves,
images she portray to others that is perfect.

she felt hollowness,
she felt something is wrong.
she finally sense some correctness in relationship,
she's so rational.
too rational.
maybe she should wait,
wait longer...

but how long?
she wonders.
should she correct the situation before its too late?
does movies and dramas come true?
so many questions,
no answers.

just strings and strings of thoughts...
thoughts that were overshadowed,
or truth...

nobody knows,
not even her.

not even her...




yc

establishing

to be cared,
to be protected.
to be showered with everything,
but why am i not happy?
too much comparing,
or simple fact of feeling.
patience to the perfect one,
held no confidence in this speech.
the one i care is reluctant of my affection,
the one i don't care,
is slowly shifting my mind.
loneliness is scary,
the shoulder that allows me to lean.
i'm swept away by facts,
not emotions.
people says its wrong,
but images reassures me they're truth.
how can my simple life be so laborious.

where has my craziness gone,
fear wants my feet on ground.
i'm studying a relationship,
working it out,
so it turns to perfection.
ideas towards my heart were fenced cleverly,
i'm walking towards a story.
a story i write,
is it incorrect that my life is moving this way.
i'm fearful of regrets,
i'm tired of walking alone.

my character is evaporating,
i'm responsible for exposing them to the sun.
this pressurized heat.

i'm so tired of being ignored,
out of the picture.

i have no more tears,
only thoughts so tangled up.






yc

discombobulated

a glass bottle,
fragile and hollow.
easily decorated,
waiting for the right content to fill it up.
means and ways to brim it,
always incorrect,
retreve the content out.
discard,
in sorrow,
burn.
no picture is beautiful,
a beautiful picture is not always perfect.
standing alone by the shelf,
well protected,hollow.
decisions are easy,
yet thoughts keep wandering.
too many factors to consider,
waiting to be swept away,
yet still standing strong.
a relationship like this,
a life as it is.
disappointment.
lost,and scared.









yc

antiquity

hearing the news that you were back,
alarmed at the adventure u have experienced.
my heart is stiching,
pain and repair concoct to something.
eargerness to meet you,
worries that before has changed.
we were in premises definitely near,
yet the foreigness lingers.
i have toppled my memories to take a step closer to you,
in hope things has not changed.
buddies of words,
exchanges of experience.
standing in front of u now is the friend.
the man carefully configured to perfection.
how have you been?
asking me out for a drink.

this female that you hav fun with.

i hav met my love now,
in bliss and in trauma.
i dont wanna lose something this year.
i shouldn't..

here,i'm open to more stories of your life,
more adventures to mark my smiles.
gulping down drinks that make our spirits high,
and relinquish the fellow friend of mine.




yc

equivocality

how can your life be pathetic,
when mine is still struggling.
reasons you have supplied,
has multiplied my loss for words.
how dare you claim pieces,
when u're the crasher.

you should,
subsidize everything i have given u,
with thoughts that should be powerful.
with proudness within.
show the world your will,
the power to capture empty hearts.
how u manage to fill them,
then discard.
at ease.

i am strong,
as u have presumed.
but u'll never know how hard i've tried,
to hide,to defend wat u hav always wanted.

grace to your soul,
grace to my relentless.







yc

etch

the coloured nails,
the tattoed bod.
the slamming music,
the fabulous book.
my distraught,
in rekindling something.
a feeling i yearn to dispose,
a clingling i can't bear to let go.
striving for ability,
i balanced the weekened legs.
jello beneath me,
i'm bearing a realization.

a flower blooming under the sky,
a hungry caterpiller.
eargerness to consume,
the beautiful flower,
wreckage.
soon,everything will be just a pile of scat.
gaining no attention,
easily cleared off.

acid in my stomache piping,
on this stool,a cigarette in my hand.
this is a form of life,
a life i had carved with my own hands.

my own hands...






yc

moulding

shuffling with everyday life,
i try to figure a perfection.
suspecting every simple movements,
every slight decisions.
curing suspicions that were lighted.
browsing through my surrounded,
i try to master my pursue.
but what are they?
where are they.
speeches that reverberate nothing,
esoteric cells.
i need to simmer this heat,
take things slowly.
pounding a firm foundation,
so i don't sway.
beauty lies in the eyes of what,
in wat way,
in wat sense.

i am so granulated.
how am i going to compose.




yc