Waking Up In Self-Reflection

The purest of love has drained my soul,
as a female,
in nature i am possessive.
Tolerance to sharing,
i have broke down.
Feelings uncontrollable,
wrecking me.
Wearing me off into a hysteric lady.
Sometimes i wonder,
what have i owed you.
To be torture by you with the sharpest blade evil can ever find.
Piercing my heart,smashing my hopes.

Why do you want kisses from me when you commitment was not on ur list.
Why the stupidity of me to think you may bring me happiness.
A life so different from others,
a depiction of relationship so foreign to humans.
A joy so suppressed inside unable to share.
Slowly my temper is tampared.
Why,for god's sake, are u making my life in hell.

Now i wake,
i shall look upon you as a normal person in my life.
My willpower will diminish any past memories and linkages to you.
You no longer worth my care and passion.
Till one day i get what i deserve from you,
or just live in regrets.
For you will no longer find someone whom will uphold you the way i do.
You have the choice,
and you makde it.
I congratulate you and may you be presented with happiness.
You chose her,always remember!


yc

爱情多种

爱情有很多种。
有快乐的，不快乐的。
有影藏的，有很宣扬的。
有明的，有暗的。
有被认同的，有被反对的。
有让人感动的，有让人生气的。
有的是理智的，
有的是很冲动的。

身旁例子太多，
不竟让我感慨。
有一位女朋友放弃爱她很深的男友，
和一位不体谅自己的女孩子在一起。
看着她从捧在手里到处处迁就，
心里那些须的不舒服，
让我看到爱情的真。
爱情的不退然，对心里的诚实。
又有多少人会放弃迁就和容忍的好，
大胆的让心说话。

拿我来说。
和这男孩脱脱拉拉快五年了。
三年前的拒绝，因为还没放下前男友。
今天的矛盾，是因为他和她在一起两年了。
我们时不时的真心对话，
互相关心，言语的甜蜜，
把我搞的乱七八糟。
捣乱了我做人的原则，做女孩的基本原则。
情到时那忍不住的吻，你对我说的心里话，
一天一天的过，一天比一天乱。
现在的他是爱我还是爱她？
他对她是责任还是爱？
如果真的爱她，那他心又为何容纳的下我？
拖了这么久的情
不真吗？
不是已经通过时间的考验了吗？
好模糊哦，
心好乱
这样的爱情又该列入那一项呢。

象我姐又不一样。
她很幸福，
找到了一段被众人祝福以及羡慕的爱情。
无时无刻的短讯，
天天都该有的电话。
彼此了解的爱。
真爱，他们都有。
开心就很自然的归他们。

爱情很不公平，
我们永远不知道它到底是疼我们还是伤我们。

要答案是不可能的。
我们只好靠自己的心，
自己找答案给自己，
也只有这样我们不会到最后埋怨别人。

yc

inclination

There are always somethings i don't understand.
Questions that cannot be answered,
spirits that cannot make me drunk.
People like to claim how much they love me,
Yet they were normally the ones that hurt me the most.

'She' whom declare to the world how much she dote on me,
was able to send a helping hand to everyone,
but not me.
The thing i need most for an event i would be proud of.
Yet she can even ponder,not to my interest.
There is a boy claiming he loves me so,
yet he is by the side of his girlfriend.
I have friends surrounding me,
but they seem so fake.
I lock my heart.
I have parents scoring one hundred points in their roles,
but sometimes they make me feel useless.
I am practically worthless of anything beautiful mother nature consist of.
Sometimes moments seems so surreal to me.
What i see,was not what i feel,
what i thought, did not turn out they way i expected.
what i believe, was not all the truth.

Taking the pain away,
is the razor blade.
Every scar i make,
is an ornament to remind me the fakeness of the world.
Every scar wakes me from a dream.
Living in this crazy world,
i immerse in my own tears.
This world persist too mach depictions.

Unlock my soul dear lord,
fetch me to a place where i never have to drown my eyes.
To a place where i see death as a fearful end.


yc

LOSING DIRECTION

Strength from nothing,
can compare to the that of love.
For this thing that everyone on this world pursue with might,
i suffered.
A quiet and unforbidden relationship,
a relationship not able to get its blessings.
A truth that cannot be disclosed.

I downsize my pride to be with you,
by your side supporting every decision you make.
But in reality,i am nothing more than a book.
A book that can be discarded anytime with.

It has never cross my mind to be in this humble situation,
a place my heart wanted to be,and not willing to be.
I love u more than anything,
do u know?
i wanted a life with you,
children so adorable, people envy.
Thoughts so unrealsitic i want to tear.

Today,this moment,i cry for the negligence u show me.
The heart so aching i hardly grasp for air.
But the love so strong i keep goin on.
A small sms from u will make all the things i do worthwhile.
u are the one i know i want to be with,
even when u love her.

The man i love is not my lover.


yc

losing touch

if someday people claims i'm crazy,
I will happily accept this complement.
A polluted soul i have.
Constantly swirling is the mind within me.
I behold beliefs not to be accpeted,
my character not easily entered.

I always carry myself perfectly,
hiding with the my mouth shielding.
I hold the truth to many events,
Not willing to share,
for the good of all,
the convenience of trust.

I strongly believes the power to my future lies in my hands,
a fact,
scalpted within my pride.
I know i will never be left alone.
Yet,i can't stop the depression befalling upon me once in a while.
Clueless of my moodswings,
i wonder in mist.

I felt like i know something,
yet i cant understand the something.
Complicated understandings blurs the clarity of the mind.
Answers will surface as time flies,
checking for results,i will try.
Till that day arrives,
may life be all well and happy for me.


yc

THE ACHE

The young soul stucked within me,
has again committed a sin.
A sin set to betrayal,
lust for posessions,
irrational behavior.

Feelings now run around my body,
hitting every single nerve in my body.
Weirdness hogs my mind.
Guilt refrains me from sleeping.
Your coldness keeps me thinking.
Do i even deserve the chance to reprimand u,
stucked in confusion.

When should a human know when true love arrives.
The morale of faithfullness,
the strength for devotion.
The addiction to more predators.

Utterly disgusted am i,
to think i believe true love still persist.
Head over heels whenever i fall,
feelings so aching i can hardly smile.
Leaving me alone,
damn u to hav the heart.

You,are indeed with her.
You,belong to her.
Now,i am left to be hurt.

Another failure on my pursue to happiness.
My tears will no more flow in public from true emotions.
Despair am i,
yet wat can i do.
Its a mistake all along.
Let me pick up the pieces,
maybe the puzzle,can still be composed.


yc

a nap in the pool

As the water splashes from heights,
hitting onto stagnent water.
Droplets splashed to my face,refreshing,soaking my dress.
The faithful unicorn is waiting,
my guardian angels hurrying around me.
Smiling and giggling,
i hallucinate the everlasting joy.
As it presents itself on my brain.
Evoking my senses inflict happiniess upon.

Now,in the kingdom of Neverland.
Creatures and humans of many forms live cohesively.
Every little thing complement each other,
protecting one another.
Humble living,a war never to b seen.

Greeneries shine with the help of sunlight.
Rocks resemble crystals.
Soil so fertile, sweet were the crops.
The dew so crisp,the air so fresh.
Health is never a concern but a form of taking for granted.
Pollution never fits in,
evil doings never bring about.

When rains befall,we savour the serenity.
When the sun hang up high,the trees will share our burden.
When snow falls,the logs will help us out.

Drunken am i in such a beautiful place.

As i open my eyes and see fountain in the pool i now swim.
So it was all a dream.
A hallucination from the pool.
Water splatter,everything scattered.
I am now brought back into this world,i now seem foreign to.
Where evil still persists,human still struggling.


yc