welcome

at this very moment while writing,
my heart is aching.

suddenly breathing,
became very tiring.

my brain exploit.
heart devout.

i cant process everything properly,
i cant sustain my spirits.
my eyes am tired yet they were not tearing.

i am living a moment of intense complication now,
whereby my thoughts is trying to calm my anguished heart.

suddenly, i miss you a lot.
and so many memories of thin needles,
pricking my skin,delivering a tingling sensation on my skin...
i felt it, but i don't see it.
there is a wound, a scar.
and its not visible.

i tried...i cried....i persuade myself that i am fine....
i remember the time my brain tells my heart never to tear for you ever again,
i am trying my best to live my thought, words into action.

yet,
despite the effort...
i am failing.
failed terribly,
my aching heart is reminding me,
that you have not left.

succumbed.
those wonderful memories became a wall,
a wall to locked you in.

you will never know.

and every time i acknowledge how i have failed my loving parents because of you...
i am sad....
for you, for myself,for my family,for my friends...
i am sorry.


yc