her story ends

continueing the story...
giving it an ending


she was careless,clumsy and straight.
a careless mistake by the eye,she wound up being the ultimate bad gal in his heart.
she tried to explain,she apologised...to no avail,he nvr believes her.
so blind by love is him to his beloved,he accuses her,doubted her character.

off guarded she was against his dreadful words.
so powerful,they blew her off.
she got so devastated she cant stop tearing,
tears drenched her cheeks.
she was brutally treated.
his words offer her no option but to disappear.
she started with the intention to make him smile,
but now she end up making him unhappy.
she's angry...she's sad...she's confused with her emotions now.
how come she's not angry when she's so unfairly putted off.
how come she's worried with the mood of the one whom shed her done for nothing.

crying,
she's struggling in this hollow sorrow.
estranged.

she nvr hates him...she knows he juz loves her so.
how wonderful is he,she cannot bear even alittle hatred for him despite all his cruelty,all his lies.

then,the girl went on a resolution.
she decided not to cut her wrist again.
she will get a fabulous tattoo,
a tattoo to remind her,she is she.
no one shld wreck her life.
she hav ppl surrounding that loves her,
they hurt more when they see bloody red scars on her wrist.
the lines left,
will remind her.
they will slap her whenever she's lost again.
she...because of the tattoo...
has replenished her soul.
to start all over again,
she must reach her targeted commitment,
from the basic...she will rise again.
accomplishing her dreams.
though his image will nvr leave her...
she will never forget him,
they will forever love the friendship before everything starts.
the future's so bleak,so bright.

she will work hard.
maybe one day he'll return.
one day she'll love a worthy.
Till then...everythings bleak.

this ending,her family recognize...
she has breathed once again the air so fresh.

god bless
life beholds.






narrated:YC

her story

There was this girl,
whose life went into havoc after she fell for the wrong guy.

Things started perfectly beautiful,ended abruptly.
here...she started a life...so commendable,i decide to note it down.

Every day since the day she knew he know longer cares for her,
she'll fill her day up with lots of work to prevent herself from missing him.
Missing all the history that stabs her heart so real.
Even cutting her own wrist,couldn't draw the suffering away.
But she always regrets the time to commit to work.
because,she wants to miss him,think of him all the time.

She found out missing him is ignorantly a process in her daily routine.
she needs the thought of him to lead her life.
Its the sweetest thing that can happen to her now.

She'll ardently rush hm,cancelling work,juz to on the laptop,bought juz for him,to see if he's on msn.
although it always end with disappointment of her looking only at his nick,no communication.

She loves to browse pages of websites that belongs to him,
to see how he's doing.
envy of other females that got his care n concern.
then she'll hav the urge to open the drawer at hm,
bring out the blade that cuts her skin,make them bleed.
as she quietly go through the profiles of the girls she lose out,
she slowly search for the obscured.
already so lost is her little soul,so drained from all the sadness.
she finds her finger flipping stuffs,uncontrollably.
all these pain are like heroin,she got so addicted,she get them done every day,she goes through them every moment when she stops.
On the bus,when she smokes...anytime when she's alone...
and nowadays...she's always alone,refraining company.
unwilling to open up and share her thoughts.
unwilling to speak.
sometimes she wonder if she's sick,she likes to bask in this adversity.
she'll loll in the sms he once sent her,
words that caramelize her introspection.
she adore the feeling of reclaimed happiness,
even though its artificial.
he's no longer giving her his affection.
his time,his everything.


everynight she'll bring the phone with all the songs he left her to bed,
accompnaying with her will be a dark novel.
pampering her to slp will b memories that make her amile.
pictures she gives a peck before her eyelips kiss.
the drooling eyelips...droplets of water flows uncontrollably.
wetting the pillow.
she's like a hungry hyena,
ugly,lost,
desperate for something to fill her taken heart.
at times,her lungs will contract,every breath she takes need extra effort.
then she'll stutter in her bed,
imagining he's looking at her.
imagining she's in the bed of his.

Every awakening in the morning,
will send her into blind alley.
Its like a pricking reminder letting her know he's no longer with her.
no mails,no messages.
life is so unfair in its own way...
she knows whatever situation she is in now,
if ever her beloved father knows,
he'll burn for her.
daddy dotes on this girl so much,
she's sinking into anguish.
The father will frown.

Now,this very moment.
she will get permanent ink on her body.
something to wake her up.
maybe she will nvr walk out of it,
maybe someday her feelings wil expire.
its still a mystery.
no one knows.

All she knows is she has to live on,
for the people that still loves her dearly.
the future is like an open book,
an unfinished one,
he will take a significant chapter.
she will keep him in those pages.

he has flinched her aside,
she was like a discarded pet.
Played,enojoyed and forgottten.
She...will walk out of it...
i believe she will.
with her sister...she will strive to be better.
Wat he has done to her...
the sister suffers the same.

this is life.

She knows.
She nevers like forcing him...she never likes the feeling of denial.
She accepts all the reality with open heart...
god bless him.









narrated by YC.

Plz...forever be happy.
to him and to her...

PS:''i have nothing but patience and you''


yc

vividly

remembering how we started,
simple kisses.
alcohol,cigerettes.
fingers crossed,
we share the eye contact.

u hugged me,
we embrace the blissful moment.

u sent me to sch,
we had beakfast in the car.
u cared for my presence.
i feel my heart.

weeks we spent together,
regardless of reality.
we swear to be rational,
i failed.

movies we had,
moments of closeness.
car rides of happiness,
i knew i was in trouble.

still vividly in my brain,
prounounciations of the baby from your lips.
people called me by name,
u told u have changed to that.
sweet was the feeling like candy in my mouth.
my simple smile,
was the laugh in my heart.

how can u abandone everything just like that,
while i bath in ur actions.
my eyes killed me when u give her ur attention.
aren't they the truth when u tell me ur point of view.
i cant believe ur ruthlessness.
heart so hard like stone.
dodge my feelings,
my brain running wild.
i gave you all my heart,
were u when u're with me?

god not helping me.
i cant forget the life u hav spent with me.
so hard,so tough....





yc

the will that fails me

sunlight pricking on my eyes,
music running through my ears.
looking for a distraction,
to bring my useless brain back.
acoiding the images of couples,
shielding your face in my thoughts.
lyrics that touch my heart,
thumping is the heartbeat.

looking down on my wrist,
the scars i left for you.
fucking not of use.
the hurt is still thr,
so raw,so real.

i miss you so much,
places that rakes the memories will be avoided.
my courage to take the emotions is intimidated.
lips craving for yours.




yc

getting through alone

u heartless beast,
showering ur attention to all the people around me.
disregarding my every emotion,feelings.
u make me feel like a hyena,ugly,outcast,a disease.
so disgusted.
i'm isolating myself.
i began to think lonliness is wat god embed me with,
he wants me to live this blissful life with regrets.

when i scar my hand,i don't want anybody's pity.
i wanna get on with it,become an inert shape in space.
be forgotten.

like a living dead i am.
occupying my mind.
infatuation,
makes my breating hard when i think of you.
so beautiful am the feeling,
so tough to get through.
yet all the time u make my smile,
even when u're not by my side.

everything u left behind for me will be kept intact.
time will prove alot,
the scars i inflict upon me will make u see.
how willfull is my love,
how blessed u r.
kisses and care.
prayers and memories.




yc

u'll never know

ur palm is my heaven,
a simple touch,stairway to cotton clouds of utopia.
this feeling you'll never know,
because you weren't me.

the girl u love,
i'll aim to be her.
whatever she can provide you,
i no doubt will do better than her.
whoever u hav left,
i swear i won't commit the same mistake.
right from the start i knew my heart belongs to u.

give me the chance to make your day.
allow me the sacrifice to make you touched.
pardon me the nuisance when mood sways,
provide me the ladder to your head.
ripping off your troubles when hardwork lays.

transparent i m in your heart,
i don't mind.
i have gotten use to wake and work for you.
adapted to this lifeless life.
as long as you're happy...
my smile hangs high.



yc




yc

dejected

there is one pain people can bear,
walking like living dead.
I now knows how its feels,
because u hav bestowed me the opportunity to self inflict my arm, to wear the pain of heart.
u declared your love for her so publicly,
with me hugging you.
making so known to the world,a substitute they see.

Sparing me no sweetness from the bottom of your heart,
tearing my every hope with cold response.
allowing me the sight of her importance,
successfully sending everyone into one conclusion.
awkwardness of me,weirdness of my presence.
pitiable a little soul.

to reach to u,
i have to see her face.
sending every delightness into flame,
turning every optimism into ash.
my heart is contracting so hard,i hardly breathe.
yet,i fear to take deep breath.
for they are the factors that make my tears flow.
what am i going to do now...
i'm trying so hard,my body is worn out,
my spirit so tired,my eyes so swollen.

nowadays i hate myself,
i hate myself for thinking of giving up.
i hate myself for being a bother in your life.
wasting your time and money.
when elated everyone should be,
u splashed me with the weirdest word that pierce my heart.
i am so lost now in this world.
i have to cry myself everyday to numb my sadness.
i know,
how every drop would make you more discontent with me,
how every drop id absurp in you eyes.

my heart jus hurts so much now,
i couldn't bear the thought of how importantly u hav placed her face to all your friends.
and please,
if possible,stop playing with me.
stop showing me the face that makes me cry so hard everytime.
i'm so lost on wat to expect from you.
Just give me the truth.
tell me rude.
and maybe that will do me good.





yc

encumber

Baby,
today,i awake to find out i have lost the battle.
My actions,my thinking and my heart hav been to war.
they repel,they fought.
Behaving strongly like i don't even care,
enduring thoughts of how u doted her.
I have learnt from you how to react indifferently to all situations,
even when the urge to cry purge.
We're so far apart.
i miss u lots,yet i'm trying hard not to bother you.
i know how u dread clinging gals,
slowly tranforming,
i never knew i am capabable of being one.
how insufficient i am of you.

Full force,i want to charge at you.
yet too many factors hold my speed.
forgive for going back on my words of confidence and self-delusion.
Bear with me awhile,
while i try to walk out of this erupted feelings cleanly.

how are you doing there?
n why do i bother asking,
answering my question muz hav been a waste of time for u.
while u tenderly shower her with all your essence,
i'm reliving every histroy of us together.
the beautiful moments you left behind.
they are oxygen,constantly surrounding me,
enabling my livelihood.
my heart has never worked harder than this in life.

Understanding the meaning of sweet misery,
enjoying every second because i know i hav fallen in love.
years of hard cold feelings i hav stored for him,
u came and opened the window.
i can always wait for my love,
but will he get a gal and hurt me again?
announcing to the world his love for her while holding my hand,standing next to him?
treating me with attitudes so different from his dearly beloved?

forgotten,
now,
i have no right to compare and be jealous.
because we hav btohered to make things so clear,
i'm ashamed of myself now.





yc

voice

my pleasure risen,
all because i heard your voice.
days without ur presence,
tormented me.
now a ray of sunshine shine on life.
the body reacts differently.
beautiful am my spirit,
images of u smiling.
touches of transparent kisses on my subtle lips.
a fresh breath of reason to optimism.
rumbling through my past woes,
i now find settlement.
the plains are no longer plain,
filled with blossoms.
queries still lies wat happens when summer ends.
may the sun hang high always,
rain equipping sufficient water.
n may ur voice nvr stops replenishing my happiness.
all ways and methods to be relished,
the connection muz never stop.


yc

massacre of the bumping heart

my mind's swirling,
your images keep appearing.
i tried to let it go,
but too hard it is.
u were there to make my heart beat after him,
u were here to make me commit.
i dun mind living hard for u,
losing sleep for u.
having scars for u.
save me will u?!
response will u?!
how can u love her so much to neglect my feelings when i'm with u.
u message her like there's no tomorrow,
ever spare a thought for me?
ever made me the centre of your heart?
sorry,
my eyes are wet,tears flooding.
no!not a drop will go down my cheeks.
u can't love me,
i understand.
the heart don't hear what the brain directs.
n ur heart,sumtin i can't grasp.
but doin sumtin to make u happy,
i dun mind.
give me the pleasure.
live happily caring for the 'her' u love.
like i care for u.


yc

no response

ur negligence sends chill down my spine.
Drastic moodswings make me float.
were you lying?were u true?
am i disturbing?am i sweet?
am i bothering?am i considerate?
chlorine fails to bleach my memories.
trying so hard am i to reach to you,
an expression to hide.
i sheath the truth,
shield my emotions.
shuddering,
controlling the tears.
not drop will flow,
i will clean them b4 they leak.
strong i will be,
pain i will bear.
the feelings oneday will cease...
that,
i believe.


yc

uncontrollably

no information from u yet,
my soul is drenched with sadness.
alcohol can get me no where,
showering me with immense emotions.
we were meant to be together,
ur departure left me to wither.
the impact u have hit,
unmendable.
now,i look into the mirror,
i see a weird gal.
i laugh and smile,
then i break down n cry.
i think to myself,
why u don't spare me abit ofsweetness.
uncontrollably,
i viewed 'her' profile.
uncomparable am i?!
overthere,
u enjoy ur life.
over here,
i work hard towards you.
until someone can replace you,
i love no one.
rejection means nothing,
i can take any pain for you.
the coldness u show,
i believe u tryin to protect a friensdship.
too late,my boy.
i have fallen deep.


yc