hypermnesia

recollections of how i was disgraced by you,
set me apart from love.
images of him messanging,send me into madness.
i remembered how much i love you before,
that i can totally swallow the bitter of u having her in your mind,
when i'm by your side.

my sense of security have been deleterious.
i lose the direction of love.
my feelings are corroded,
wear and tear of nature hav left me vacuumed.
i'm confused with facts n memories,
the past n present.

beautiful is dull.
i see the dolorous,
the sky is only blue and white.
the forest is only green and brown.
the ocean,
complex and dangerous.

dwelled into simplicity,
heavy hearted.

love...
the stud in my heart,that makes me breathe heavily.




yc

shedding

chewing candies,
sweetness dispersing.
engulfing the mouth with beatitude,
the satisfaction,long gone,is back.

am i standing strong once again,
or dozin by the grey line.
between whiteand black,
extreme currents.
any miniature flaw,
may set me back to my boundaries again.

i have just set the spirit that haunt me for years free,
bringing away with him is the sorrow,pain and tears i have dealt with my emotion.
this vivacity,
is so foreign to me.

tonite,
i sleep with the same love songs u left me.
but deep in my heart i'm re-starting.
finally,
to get a future without hindering your privacy.
i don't mind failing,
but will still work hard for you, to leave u alone.

starry,starry night.

prodigious re-living.






yc

acknowledging

displaying facts,
the actions of people.
simple understanding,
revealing broad-spectrum.
invitations represents a consequential meaning.
all these are little bits of facts,
unknowingly affecting a human's emotion.

they work as a slap,
awaking someone to the life that has been leading.
no-ones actually cherish her presence.
maybe death is the impact she's longing to punch.

or maybe,over reacted.

calm down with chamomile,
slowly picking pieces back.
shut the eyes,
sleep well.

reality cannot be changed,
so revive.





yc

the elder sister

siowbih is a girl,
siowbih is an angel.
siowbih is a listener,
siowbih is a worry freak.
siowbih is a hygiene inspector,
siowbih is my caretaker.
siowbih is my reader,following the flow of my book.
siowbih is a glass,easily shattered by my harsh words.
siowbih is a believer,whom always believe in me.
siowbih is a flower,always blossoming.
siowbih is an umbrella,sheltering me always.

Siow Bih is my Elder sister.
she makes my life complete,
she contribute to my smile and laughter.
she forgives me whenever.
she makes me cry when i know i hav her around.
she's what god hav blessed me with.

yet...sometimes i take her for granted.
i always hurt her with my descriptive,impulsive words.

to my sister,i love you.
i thank you for everything u have given up for me.

yc loves siowbih...
yc loves her sister...
yc will die for siowbih...
yc wants siowbih to be blessed.
yc will grudge anyone that makes siowbih unhappy.
yc wants to see siowbih laugh and smile everyday.
yc wants siowbih to be happy.

yc want to grow old with siowbih,
to be by siowbih forever when she needs her.





yc

my lord

yokewei is a man,
yokewei is my love.
yokewei is my supporter,
yokewei is the harbourer.
yokewei is the worker,
yokewei is my employer that pays me to be happy.
yokewei is a candy,always sweeten my smile.
yokewei loves me,
yokewei cuddles me with warmth.
yokewei works hard,
yokewei plays little.
yokewei smokes,
yokewei drinks.
yokewei laughs,
yokewei is my life,
yokewei is my oxygen.
yokewei is my everything...

Yoke Wei is my father.
whom raise me up whenever i fail.


yc loves yokewei,
so much so that people feel disgusted.

to my dearest daddy...thank you for loving me,basking me with love like sunlight.



yc

balderdash

i have this fear within me,
that history will weigh on me forever.
my legs were moving,
but the stagnency prevails.
taunting me day and night is you.

i blabber about how i don't miss you,
i admit i'm lying.
you're everything to me,
i pray that my dream is you.
all about you,
just you,and me.
i need to renew my day with you,
new fantasies of us.



yc

Closest thing to Crazy-Katie Melua

How can i think i'm standing strong?
Yet feel the air beneath my feet
How can happiness feel so wrong?
How can misery feel so sweet?
How can you let me watch you sleep?
Then break my dreams the way you do
How can i have got in so deep?
Why did i fall in love with you?

[chorus]
This is the closest thing to crazy i have ever been
Feeling twenty-two acting seventeen
This is the nearest thing to crazy i have ever known
I was never crazy, on my own and now i know
That there's a link between the two
Being close to craziness, and being close to you

[verse]
How can you make me fall apart?
Then break my fall with loving light
It's so easy to break a heart
It's so easy to close you eyes
How can you treat me like a child?
Yet like a child i yearn for you
How can anyone feel so wild?
How can anyone feel so blue?

[chorus]
This is the closest thing to crazy i have ever been
Feeling twenty-two acting seventeen
This is the nearest thing to crazy i have ever known
I was never crazy, on my own and now i know
That there's a link between the two
Being close to craziness, and being close to you

And being close to you-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
And being close to you

Purest of Pain-Son by four

I'm sorry I didn't mean to call
but I couldn't fight it
I guess I was weak and couldn't even hide it
and so I surrender just to hear your voice
I know how many times I said I'm gonna to live with out you
and maybe someone else is standing there beside you
but there's something baby that you need to know
that deep inside me I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you it's all that I'm asking.
Vida, give me back my fantasies
the courage that I need to live
the air that I breathe
carino mio, my world becomes so empty
my day's are so cold and lonely
and each night I taste
the purest of pain.
I wish I could tell you I'm feeling better every day
that it didn't hurt me when you walked away
but to tell you the truth I can't find my way
and deep inside me I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you it's all that I'm asking.
Vida, give me back...

no one

a sprinkle of hope,
i try to see if the recipe works.
mentality unstable,
i detest whoever i went out with.
the feeling is different,
the acknowledgement to outsiders weren't there.
i do not yearn to return home with him,
i crave for the loneliness that i can compose poem for u.
reliving the life that make me so happy before.

happiness is so simple,
just the thought of u.
knowing that i was blessed to hav u by my side before.
cradling the youthful impulsion,
laughing at my thoughts run wild.
cheeky,funny.
just a second,my date by the back of my mind.
a sigh of relief,
getting away from a doting companion.
i knew he loves me,
i know he'll love to have me his girl.
but love is phenomenal,
i make his day,
ur news make MY DAY!

haha...
this bitter-sweet tone.

freaky.




yc

leaking

reading,
i saw the scars on my arm.
this book i'm holding,
linkage to my self-infliction.
This book is no longer what i'm reading,
it has transformed into a story of me n you,non-fiction.
i close the read,shut my eyes.
no more reading,
flicking,my mind.
a movie,a movie of us.
smile,hugs,laughter.
happiness.
the enclosed fingers.
Conquered,my mind is taken.
feeling weak,i am soooo tired.
6am,early in the morning.
i cant figure a way to wake,
to slap me out of this dream.

reading alone,the loneliness,
reminds me of u.
what is happening?
gushing emotins,eruption.
i want to sleep,
to sink deep into bewilderness.

not a dream,not a dream where u appear again.
images of falseness.
this trickery will only haunt me down for days,
oh god...not again...

dearthing a gd sleep,
a beautiful morning.
regain my energy.
live life again.

to smile,
and not embedden with anguish.



yc

precisely

crossing bridges of prickle,
i sense a short of breath.
pictures i hate,flashing through my brain.
tired,take a seat.
conceiling my facts.

ppl stare at me weirdly,
i question the ogle.
to see my collar,soaked.
so,i'm tearing,
for something.

strangers are curious.

i dont know what i'm doing,
juz letting the fact commence.

just like that,
hopefully i'll feel better.
and try something again,
to move on again.
to smile again.
to bath in bliss and work things out.





yc

no relief

today,
i try to walk into something brand new.
to find out i'm still cradling the sweetness u left behind.
happiness is memories,
not seekable anymore from my point of view.
i think its time i giv up deceptive thoughts of life can go on without u,
raise my head high,
smile at the pretty smile u left for me to print.
under sunlight,
i already knew the truth of my heart.
they were bared to me everytime i try to shield my loneliness.
To regard with utter contempt and disdain,
this weirdness i'm with-holding.

always am i trying to fill my world with images,events to make me smile.
yet...
no sensation.
venomous feeling.
grinning as always.
listen to melodies i annex u with.
ha.
protruding eagerness.
hopeful appetency.



yc

pills

now,
i'm consuming large amt ofalcohol.
trying my best to erase u from my thoughts,
i know the meausres i shld take for a better tomorrow.
but i'm trying to torture myself,
this failure i hav harboured for u.

yes!i am drunk,
my heart have never felt so much pain.
queries in my heart unanswered.
in shame,i live.
i cant stand up.
i'm a loser,forever lost.

drunk,dunk in sickness meant for u



yc