going on,taking off

a new beginning,a new fraud.
i hop onto a new era in my life,i hope for the best.
new habits,new lifestyle,new targets.
any misleading will hurt my emotions.
decrease my confidence,
leading me no where,making me trash.
i will stand up again,achieve my goals.
this is life,its all about new hopes.
my life is rolling through pebbles.
hard to walk over,
scratches all over.
okok!
i will succeed,as my plan proceeds.
evovlve i will...
shall not fall.
tears will always b with me.
i will always need my tears.
dear daddy,will make u proud.
may god bless me,
i want to be proud of myself.
already emerging into 21,
my life muz hav its pattern,muz hav its control.
ohhh,fretting,worried here i m.
the anxiety is killing me.
i want to recollect the shredded pieces of my life,
stop them from runnig again,get back into the picture.
the beautiful and peaceful,
the masterpiece so soothing to the eye.


yc

under the moonlight

under this fade light,

given from the kindness of the sun.

the spinning earth.

as i glare,

attracted by the ever changing shapes.

night after night.

a reminiscence to me.

how fortunate i m.

he is like my friend,

someone whom stays by my side at night.

intense darkness gives me fright,

the dim guardian lead my way.

i speak the sensuals to him.

i cry to him.

contradicting as always.

when he arrives,tats the worst i m.

one can never get lonelier in the night.

spirits,insects,animals...too much swirling,

i shiver~

how tainted is my soul,how naked is my brain.

yc

isit sad?!

if u guys don't wanna look me up,then forget it.

if the ride aint enough,then forget it.

why muz i make myself so pathetic at hm waiting for my friends to call me up?

they aint looking me up,so i think i dun care.

i hav to live my life alone...cos its all about me...

itz all about my family.

yeah!i'm lonely...but the knife is with me.

i wound,cos sometimes some feelings r juz to hard to bear alone...cutting n pain,the anxiety,they triggers my deepest deperate to release.

i won't share anything with no one.

i smile infront of u,its my character...u think u know me?

u aint!!!

i will make my moments with u a pleasure~

but u r getting nth from the 'real' me...

cos i've learnt the way to not open up.

i dun hav a true friend,because i'm cold.

i know i hav a problem.

n why should i solve it?

it concern no one.

yc

bleeding

When u grab my heart n run,
devastate i felt.
U con me to believe u care,
so i see the glimpse,
the little hope of love.
to start my life in a piece again.
Now,its no big deal.
My heart is already pierced.
Too pain to carry on.
Though i'm breathing everyday,
pain,is all i gain.
Why do i hav to cry for u,
change for u,
care for u.
even when we dun meet,
i think bout u.
a simple greeting is enough to make my heart thump.
uncontrollable is my love for u.
to the extent many mistakes mave been made.
please stop haunting me.
release my poor little soul from ur face.
run away from ur hug.
your tender kisses.
smoking all because of u,
the guy whom dun giv a damn about me.
the only guy i love.

the only one i cry n cut myself for.




yc

pictures dun usually tells the truth

If love is companionship,

then why am i alone?

if companionship is happiness,

why do ppl still quarrel?

if things were ever so easy to define,

i wun b crying myself in the dark

if life is ever easy on me,

i dun hav to fret.

alcohol becomes my friend,

cigarettes in my hand.

sometimes a group of people gather,

u wonder,

how lonely is their soul.

is the attached really happy?

is their bonding of smiles pulling a heart down?

are the singles dreaming n thinking of their partner,

is the other side doin the same,or flirting away.

while i sit here and think,

i start to feel,

the contradicting.

the little things,

we fail to notice.

yc

i'm depressed.

if u deem mood swings,suicidal thoughts,hatred towards sumone but dun know who as depression.Then i'm sad to say,i hav slight.My life is filled with colours,not vibrant enough,not dark enough.I'm pondering in the middle,slightest movement will land me out of the margin in either category.I'm optimistic kept within is pessimism.Just like my poems tell,i hav grudge for too many things...soo many they link to one,LOVE.

fuck off!!i'm trying to stand!

wat the hell u think u r,

u cum in,u go,

i dun giv a damn.

u giv me false hope,u calm my heart.

i thought u care,i open up.

then u left,i shut.

foolish,i m uber.

y do i even think!

wat can i expect.

u r a stranger to me,

oxygen to her.

my life may b abit of mess,

just like chess,

i dun stress,for i know all will rest.

till tat day...i pray...

yc

mending a mistake

a truely faithful heart,
unimaginable.
a fakeful promise,
i broke his heart.
the wrong move,
i lose some friends.
a wandering soul,
i tear.
living my life in agony,
losing the love i wan,
eyeing for happiness,
to destroy my loneliness.
oh god,bless this life to go on.
let it take the turmoil of breathing,
juz to see him again.
feel the ache of reality,
the shattering of hearts.
if this is retirubution,
i have suffered.


yc

sentence of my heart to death

fickle minded,
trembling heart.
ache of feelings,
torture of soul.
grin of satisfaction,
thought of commitment.
negligance implemented,
lonely is my spirit.
tears roll profusely,
i sleep soundly.
today i have sinned,
for breaking his heart.
tomorrow i'm stabbed,from words behind.
wat a game,wat an experience.
every blink my eyes take,every breath i took..
keep me going,keep me confusing.


yc