kept

if you.

if you know how scary your face look like when you're mad.

then will u stop portraying it to me?

if you,

if you know how intimidated i felt when you spoke to me in that tone,

then will u stop speaking to me like that when you're unhappy?

if you,

if you know how i love to see you smile,

then will you try to wear that face when you're with me?

if you,

if you know how i felt...

then will you try to understand me?

if I,

if i learn to swallow my temper,

then will you know why i did that?

if I,

if i chose to be by your side despite any sadness,

then will you learn to see the beauty of it.

if I,

if i chose not to live the life you setted for me,

then will you appreciate me trying to be myself?



i had changed for you, but also, i have fear for you.

that face...i cant figure why would u want me to see it.





yc

Acquiesce

Like a piece of trash,

you left me behind.

like training a dog,

u fancy scaring me with your actions.

those facial expressions....

i still recall,

yesterday... what damage you had done to my heart.

emotions had u evoked ,

well executed .

sent me into a spiral of fear and sadness.

what causes those drooling tears of salted bitterness.

my voice choked with lingering agony.

maybe u spoke too much,

you should not have committed so much to me.

because now,

your actions is slapping me.

slapping my belief, or so i thought.

slapped it swollen and bled.

i handed you a mended heart,

and u chose to slit through those plasters.

baby, if u knew u stole my smile away.

would u kindly return them to me?

for it took me many big efforts to build them from before,








yc

welcome

at this very moment while writing,
my heart is aching.

suddenly breathing,
became very tiring.

my brain exploit.
heart devout.

i cant process everything properly,
i cant sustain my spirits.
my eyes am tired yet they were not tearing.

i am living a moment of intense complication now,
whereby my thoughts is trying to calm my anguished heart.

suddenly, i miss you a lot.
and so many memories of thin needles,
pricking my skin,delivering a tingling sensation on my skin...
i felt it, but i don't see it.
there is a wound, a scar.
and its not visible.

i tried...i cried....i persuade myself that i am fine....
i remember the time my brain tells my heart never to tear for you ever again,
i am trying my best to live my thought, words into action.

yet,
despite the effort...
i am failing.
failed terribly,
my aching heart is reminding me,
that you have not left.

succumbed.
those wonderful memories became a wall,
a wall to locked you in.

you will never know.

and every time i acknowledge how i have failed my loving parents because of you...
i am sad....
for you, for myself,for my family,for my friends...
i am sorry.


yc