floating about

once,
i thought u were the light to overshadow him.
then,
u left.
the pain u've left behind.
comparable to his.
leaving me alone in this country,
makin me living dead.
every thing i do for you,
goin nowhere,
u'll never return.
everything that i do to piss you,
i know i'm torturing myself.
u will never undertand.
i am trying everyway to cope,
but your house is just nearby,
everytime i pass by.
all i can do is turn away,
and regret afterwards.

looking from the rear,
i can only consume my tears.
i know people wont undertsnad why i still linger,
they wont know the feelings,
the complex emotions i'm struggling with.

u were like god showered sunlight,
accompanying me through the rough patch he has embedden.
waking me to new happiness,
ur voice...
so comforting to the lonely soul.
but why do you have to do that,
leaving me bhind.
like you've treated her,
people come to my side telling me how rude u were to me.
long forgottten are their words of reality,
i'm overwhelmed by ur charm.
now i can only harm myself,
your pictures,
so easily accessible.

i wanna do the right thing,
but always am i going the wrong direction.

trying to live life happy,
but u don't give a damn,
i cry.
tears...my tears by the pillow.
no one knows my struggle.

i long for your touch,
to be by your bedside again.
i love the stuff u've left me with,
although they hurts like needle pricking me.
i have secluded my soul,
for your unwanted zone.

i'm a walking zombie,
every image reflects you.
though u're gone too faraway,
shutted me aside.

when will you be mine again,
i yearn for your attention.
my scars,
they only draw criticism.
no one respects me now,
i'm a freaking loser.
how can i live without you,
don't u ever dare runaway from my sight.
my only hope of hanging on,
the will to fight.
i miss the ride u've fetched,
i miss you..
so dreadfully.




yc

innocence

if one day u left to eternity witout me,
i will giv up my breathe to b with u.
Live in neverland,
somewhere only you and me.
no distraction,
no theft to steal u from me.

a place my heart won't hurt,
moments without worry.
company of both,
bathing in bliss.


yc

sojourn

baby,
how have u been...
subjected behind this computer,
my heart thumps.
MTV displaying this song so attached to my heart.
can i ask for a chance to try again?
i doubt.
such stupidity.
swirling around like water.
travelling,induced with subtance.
then polluted,
then shunned aside.

i'm so dejected now,
feel like seeing some real blood.
want them to make wonders,
draw away my attention.
then live in more depair.
constantly devalueing myself to nothing.
losing my smiles,
finally facing my spirits.
till then,
am i more truthfull to myself?
puking up the bluffer.





yc

abhorrence

when my finger types,
i sense my face drenching.
i have scars in my heart,
constantly applied with salt of ignore.
Every effort i hav made to touch,
to understand.

i was brushed aside,
becoming a bother.
a nuisance u laugh at.
wondering,
why am i treated this way,
wat exactly went wrong.
why am i still crying alone.
the problem is me.
downtrodden me.
repugnance.
everything i have chosen fails me.
i'm a loser lost in space,
discarded by particles and time.
i will not submerge,
i tell myself.
and i'm doubting my thoughts again.





yc

truism

No expectations,
there'll be no disappointment.
capsizing in my own thoughts,
believing what is not proven.
living in this bogus environment,
getting discarded like a cheap toy.
something by the roadside,
without a value.

awaking from this dream again.
i sense ur presence consoling,
what u hav left me b4,
is helping me out strong.
makes me know wat's pain,
and what shouldn't be teared.

today,
i understand another man wasting my time,
unlike you.
i nvr misses him.
and because of him.
i know i still linger with u.




yc

dallying

gruesome am the shattered thoughts,
bits un reveiling.
the substantial amount of misses.

heart pounding,
your features striking.
The mouth, the nose, the mouth.
worlds apart,
blunder of confidence.
problem solving-heuristic.

acquiesce bliss.
i miss the moments of past,
truthful emotions of mine.
catered with caring of your hands.
mingle among the happiness.
losing touch of reality,
occupied with you.

quitting lifestyle of much pleasure,
honouring the bliss u shower.
love,so finally mine...

but a blink,
i'm now alone.

u love her...
u so love her...






yc

flummoxed

i miss you so much,
i'm so pathetic.
look how blissful you are,
happy and envy.

You are not mine.


yc

don't care?!

Misleading magazine articles,
lying about the unimportance of weight.
exuding self-confience that were pranked,
guys despise tummys.
the heavier that lose to lightness.
food so pleasant to the taste buds,
harming popularity.
creating a topic among friends,
foolish am i to believe those words of publicity.
words to gain acceptance from the guilt-stricken eater.
This harsh culture,
no space for fats.
I should have realised it.






yc

Sing a different song

Filthy thoughts,
innocently presented.
Light so dim,
rays so unpersuasive.
The new day,
a bad one.
Rooted is the pain,
the uncomfy feeling.
my rumbling tummy,
the chain smoking.
unbreathable,lungs contracting.
messed up simplicity,
peaceful future vanished.
encountering that is so yearned,
fright.
This memory of mine,
too strong.
so penitential.




yc

pellicle

Surface by surface,
i was peeled.
shedding every happiness.
skeletal i was left,
crushed is the world i'm in.
Every smile with so much effort,
i am least complete.
Loneliness in this practical world.
Losing sense and touch of everything,
skin infunctioning,
words unable to replenish my soul.
induce in alcoholic beverage to rejuvenate.
sinking deep into uncontrollable aches.
my foundation is shaken.
Life's a hell,
tired i am.
grumpy,angry,
i'm sad,losing control.





yc