strapped

today...i dash to the ladies.
because a sight has set my tears triggered.
with my family,i daren't show my weakness.
i fear to fail my father,
yet i couldn't get you out of my mind.
when you're running around looking for the definition of love,
have you ever considered the feelings i carry for you?
i know its a corrupted data my brain has accidentally locked.

just when i'm going to get out of this shit hole.

i have tried shouting,it didn't work.
i hav tried crying,it didn't work as well.
i hav tried drinking,it only makes the emotion swell.
i have locked myself unknowingly,
i have no keys...nothing...i can't save myself.

ur MP3s keep m life going...
what u left,i'll cherish.
whatever u abandon,i'll improvise.
until one day u find my worth,
or u'll juz see a corpse walking around.
i can feign alot of stuff,
i have the confidence.

just don't ever hug/kiss me again,
my tear gland is weak.
so weak...u have seen the way i cried when u acknowledge my love,
this love for you.

my crappy lovelife....








yc

sole responsibility

how can people say that about you,
how can they judge you like this.

the embarassment and anger in me,
the gloating feeling.
i laughed,i listen.
i frown,i commented.
i hate these people,
these people whom don't know you.
and just like them,i'm clueless about you.
yeah,we weren't meant to be together and will never be a pair.
i know nothing about you,unlike her...
u r willin to share your life with her,every single emotion and thoughts.
the realness you felt when u're with her,
is exactly what i couldn't supply u with.
the peace,the ease.

yeah...
the problem lies with me.
its me...i'm the problem here...

me..
its me.




yc

vociferate

driving on this foreign freeway,
sceneries so pleasant to my eye.
like a fairytale,the music so soothing in my ears.
i was hallucinating,u holding my hand.
running through the fields,a house by the river.
a breakfast witholding your hand,dinner with you wipin my mouth.

that evening,u shouldn't...u shouldn't have kissed me.
why hug me when u have her.
why do you hold my hand when u have her.
i regret so much,for giving in.
for letting you once again,strap me into this feeling.
i'm so confused,just what is wrong with you!
why are you toying my feelings like this...
i'm a very weak girl,not independant,not rational,not strong.
i couldn't stop abusing my life,
just like i couldn't stop trembling when i think of you.
yet who can i blame,
i should have been happier because i once have you,shouldn't i?...
oh...what the fuck.

i'm so angry with you,
when my year have passed like hell and i'm finally healing...
u came with this blading words of yours,
once again slash my heart.

remember...?
when i was tearing,u hugged me?
u kiss the scars on my wrist...
u lock your lips with mine.
only for one evening,
u left me grieving.

call me a bitch,i deserve it.




yc