laxatives

i tried to sustain,
to retain.
all the unrest,
all the depress.
you chose to maintain,
your selfish character.
you failed to let me go,
you want me by your side.

you caused me depress,
i tried to suppress.
but it ain't working,
because i am not secured.
you failed to lent me your shoulder when i cry,
u failed to make me smile when i frown.

in order of standard procession,
may i ask...
what right have you to arrest my heart,
to wait for your verdict.

my life is tumbling,
your emotions fumbling.
you're lost,
i'm caught.
we are not working.
maybe its time i start waking,
make my feet start walking.
morning birds are chirping,
i hear them singing.
my heart, aching,
yet it is necessity.

did you catch my eyes beaming?
they're tearing.
piling up the gallons i have cried for you.
its okay,
i can re-hydrate.
but i wonder,
when will i relate,
that you were never really in love with me.

that it is my thought...that i thought you love me.





yc

Grey

and then i wonder,
this is blunder.
and then i ponder,
heart thumps like thunder.
the sky has changed,
the clouds were heavy.
i cant wait for it...to rain..
so i can take a break,
play in the rain.
so i can cry,
without explaining why.
i have the sky,
only he will know...that i have teared,like a little girl.

do you know...
i cry..like a little girl.
as bright can my smile be,
as dejected can my weep be.

i cant wait for the rain to come,
and that is how grey my emotions am.




yc

the shield

when in love,
never take away the shield you're holding to protect yourself.
because without the shield,
you are open to everything.
you get killed when you put down your Armour.
never give your everything to anyone.

when you're wounded,
you can ,at least, recover with time.
when you're killed,
you fall into a spiral of unknown reasons.
you cannot walk over it,
you have failed yourself.

my friend told me,
i either give it a 100%
or i give zero.
and in circumstances like this,
i tend to get hurt very easily.

so,
what should be the correct approach...
i have deduced.
to just lower the shield,
you give trust to the other party,
but dont give yourself away.

we must understand,
what we thought is not necessary what the other party thinks.
you thought you need something,
and its an obligation.
but to the one you love,
he may think otherwise.
the conflict of thoughts,
is the hurtful sword.

and why would anyone want to put themselves in the open,
and get killed.

there is nil explanation,
thus,you might as well just stick to the law of self-protect.
because no one will pity a dumb ass and its theory of trust.

maybe,
we just have to be smarter.
and the funny part is,
whenever love strikes,
being smart and rational becomes the hardest thing to practice.




yc