anywhen

3pm,
sipping the piping hot afternoon coffee.
my fifth cup.

filled with documents of all sorts,
my desk.

playing in my MP3 is the song.
your song.

on my right,
a takeaway bag.
filled with macdonalds french fries,
your favourite food.


i am not eating it,neither am i humming to the song.

i just need you to be surrounding me,
to focus my concentration back to living my life well.

dear one,
i just need your presence around me.








yc

confer

i replayed those tracks u gave me 4 years ago.

rekindling is the same old feeling i used to bear for you.

the period of time where smiling softly in any ride is a habit,

the time where my spirits were lifted so sky high everyday.

the moment where i thank god so much for bestowing you to me .

those days...

whose life am i exactly living?

today,

i sat in a new office,new environment

new job, new friends,

new hopes, new hobbies,new commitments...

for everything new,

i could not bear to let go the memories you gave me,

memories u left me.

no,

no new men in my life.

no one to replace you.

no one to repeat all the sweet words you supplied me with.

no one to hug me like u did before.

no one to kiss my forehead,

no one to tickle my nose when i'm laying by your side.

no one, no one to share the story we once had together.

no one to clench through my fingers like you did.

i attempted,

i tried to move on.

but my inconsistency to love, had got me men that never believes in cherishing me.

i had been letted go so many times,

yet my heart only numbs,

my heart,

lost amidst aching.

Big, Blue, Bounderless sky,

heavy, grey clouds.

my love,

when are you coming to collect me?

haven't you left me alone long enough?

i am still extending my hands out,

desperation.

when are you holding me up again...

and love me sincerely.






yc

Ameliorate

When you slowly acknowledge,
And contemplate to being alone.

Shouldn’t there be a light of independence?
Yet I seem to dwell into a space of dimmer lights.

I am slowly losing my touch in the world of relationships.
Fantasy creeping into me,
Pulling me back to history.

My heart pumps for simpler memories of childhood.
My brain spins for the fairytale of nature and me.
Just the world of wonder, no humans,
And me, myself
Just like the girl living in the forest.

Beauty lies in the exact moment I look into the mirror
If I felt good, what difference does the external matter?

Life, with all its ups and downs
Draining yet inspiring
Maybe my time has yet to arrive
I slowly wait and anticipate
Kindness will get me through
Improvement will get me further

Being alone will not make me shatter.



yc

Recompense

What is it about me?
That I have this heart of compare.

What is it about me that I have this playful character.
What is it about me that my heart is gracious yet so small in containing.

I tried ways and means to tell myself that it is only me, only me.
That is of the outmost importance.
I know me, that is important.

What is it about me that flaunting seems to be the resort I use to gain acknowledgement.
What is it about me, that my mouth needs to constantly educate people about me
What it it about me , that I find it a must to share my story with everyone.

It worries me ,
Am I unhappy?
Am unconfident?
Am I desperate for attention?

This day, I awaken upon this negative behavior.
This is my life, and I am for myself.
For the people that love me,
And in turn taught me how to love.

I need to master humble living.
I need to fill myself up with positive contemplate
I need to understand that many basic facts,
that,indeed, I am living splendid days.
in my very own perspective
I need to learn to view and speak truth.
I need to change for the better thus I can move with improvement

Dearest, oh me, myself.
Live your life, live a life where my personal thoughts is the biggest.
The most fulfilled feeling comes from my complacency.
Live every moment for myself and not from people’s acknowledgement.

Behind every face is a story, a hidden diary.
Only for myself,
my diary.

its okay to be happy living within one's self.


yc

Repertoire

Life, as i see it from my balcony.

under the crescent moon,
i breathe and think about how i had dis-regarded my poetic side.
for all the moments lost, which i failed to note.

i look into the window of my neighbour.

and i felt a sense of calm,
like storybooks,
each house presents a Home.

behind those walls,
lies love , and quarrels.

i hate arguments,
they bland the falovour of relationship.
they mould the food so delicately prepared.

behind every face,
is a story.
as curious as i may be,
i pray for the simple and bliss.

this evening,
i breathe in hard.
enjoyed the heavy mid night air.

and i prayed for my family,
their love keeps me smiling,
thus i must make sure there is blessings everywhere.
and smile is the simplest form of blessing.





yc