meritorious

yesterday,on the ride that separates me and you.
i cried,uncontrollably.
three days,and its all it takes to shatter me.
minimal understanding,basic knowledge.
loneliness is ripping me apart,
uncertainty is driving in rounds.
that kiss that u bid to me,
is a relieve to you,a knife to me.
how i wish i could be like her and her and her,
to be by your side all the time.
why must i be so useless,all the time,at all times.
i'm a loser,losing grip.
loss for words,people stares.
as i allow my blues to flow out,like gushing blood from a re-ripped deep wound.
since it happens all the time,i shouldn't be complaining.
the smiles i have served you with,have all been left behind for your disposal.
and i...have to eradicate my feelings.
frisking for new facial expressions,
so my vulnerability doesn't expose to the one that will mock at me.
its been quite some time.
and yes,its only time that will lend me a helping hand.
so transparent is the stuff i need,
i'm into visually disabled stuff.
addicted to them like hell.
like satan,
whom always deprive me of heaven.
when is daybreak coming,
i need a breathe of the morning dew created by mother nature.
i need the sense back,
i have been too reckless all the time.

thanks for holding my hand,
thanks for bringing me into your life.
thanks for allowing me the chance to feel your love,
thanks for making me build up a thought again.
and thanks, for the memories still vividly in my mind.
maybe,i don't deserve happiness.
you don't deserve a girl like me by your side,
let me walk away.
slow...but at least i'm dancing.



yc