i don't dare

i just notice i doesn't know how to love someone else again.
i have forgotten the feelings to a relationship,
i have forgotten how i should trust a guy with confidence.
i have learn to doubt all my abilities as a girlfriend,
i have learn to enclose everything about myself to myself.

i'm always wondering,suspecting,i wander my thoughts.
will i still get love enough if i never give in much?or i don't give in at all.
actions and words of a man is very brittle,
they cannot sustain addictions.
or my constant suspicion...is deflecting everyone that want to care for me.
i am in so much thoughts,and i don't share them.
every piece of my life i give away,
i lose a stability standing area.
the insecurity is frightening,
the idea of making someone unhappy is scary.

when i daren't take a step forward,
will i still contact love?
the grief that has evolved and engulf my life.







yc