let down,in control

today,i have awaken thinking its juz another day.
thinkin the sun is still shining bright for me.
then,i found out how out of system am my life.
so hard i hav tried to conceive myself,
shield my thoughts.
to know they are fake occurance.
today,i realise life and self-discipline are so related.
one job not done well,
the related are failure too.
i sense the sense of guilt.
how can i shelter unreasonable actions with excuses.
how my brain hav evolved into this machine so self deceiving.
beautifully i can dress,yet shallow am the soul.
lost,living in a world of its own.

god's blessing,
he's by my side.
leading me,trying hard to pull me back.
i understand now how everything works.
fallen into the hands of evil yet again.
i have never walk out of the failure of losing him,
lose...forever i will not be.
every success will tilt my head upwards,
smile with proud.
snobbish must my soul be in future to the reality.
he's gone,forever.
he's here,for the moment..
with his aid,i will fly.
i must flap my wings hard.

i wun be a let down again.
never,i control myself.
goodbye,yc of bewilderness.
yc...make urself someone ppl look up to.
yc...
ur life is within ur hands,
no one can help,on one will...






yc