pulchritudinous

today i pray,
wishing strength will be by my side.
years have passed,
and again i return as a failure from the society.

behind this stubborness,
is ravishing thoughts.
those that were with me then,
bringing forward to now.
the thoughts of blissful life together,
the doting that will never deter.
vacations spent together,
hugs beyong the setting sun.
kisses that makes me blush.
your hand that makes me proud,
presence that makes me tear.

all so beautiful,
how can i let it go.
u hav enveloped me inside your world,
i need no triumph over solidarity.
3 years,
triple amount of pain.
incurable sickness,
i hav no antidote.

i cant afford to see you with her.
i'm...
a silly...
blockheaded girl,
that still lingers around your sweet nothings.

still demeaning the smile u love,
to the mirrors,
so you will never miss it when you see me.
set u in peace that i'm doin fine,
and u hav not ruined me.

reality forbiddened.
just for your smile and happiness.