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with a glass of cognac by my side,
i write now.
my life has entered the 22nd year,
on this very first Saturday ,i chose to stay at home.
with dim lit yellow lamp,
i recovered my thoughts.
envy is a very simple word,
easy to spell, even easier to felt.
browsing through the pictures of my friends,
i look back at my life.

very filled with bliss,
i reckon.
its time i start cracking out of this shell,
to be like a chick,viewing life in simplicity.

i came across a present a dear friend gave to me when i was 18.
she, wants me to be confident,to stop comparing,to live,as i am.
i never saw the letter till yesterday.
inside this simple present, my favorite magazine,lies the very letter.
hand written.
a friend i lose to time,to my ego.

as i smile,4 years later.
a treasure i just recovered,
a moment,i knew my life has changed.
i tried to work hard, for him.
when he gave me up, i gave up too.
i never knew i did that,until the moment yesterday.

how fragile am i.
when's my change "really" coming?
i dont know, but i know as i take every new stride,
i'm closer,will be.

6th day into my 22nd year,
in this world.
i will try...will try my best.






yc