befuddle

I'm sitting by malacca river,
2am,legs dipped beneath the the dark water.
with dimly lit street lamp,
ripples created by my feet.
i was thinking to myself,
if you'll join me on another trip like this.

i'm not afraid of the dark,
not even worried by the danger of wee hours.
my brain,fulfilling its daily dosage of you.
because i have no fear of your rejection,
i noticed that i'm fearless.

what if i were to fall into the river and drown?
what if a hand just grab my leg down.
what if a rapist turn up.
what should i do when i felt like messaging you?
what if you're by the side of the girl you fancy.
what did u have for dinner?
all these questions and answer.
and eventually,
boils down again.
what makes me think i'm good enough for you.
then i got depressed,
and i fall asleep... ... ...

then he came and woke me up,
i had a drop too much,always,when i loses direction from my heart.
with my flops dangling from my finger,
i studded back to the hotel.
turning around,looking back at the spot i comfortably held base for hours.
in this unfamiliar land,
i wonder how ridiculous and weird i am.







yc