An illusory mental image

snow falling,
the carnival ongoing.
beauties behind mask,
the ugly behind grand make-ups.

i'm onboard this vehicle,
u're below holding my hand.
we were happy,
smiling,bliss.
then she came by,
u say sorry.
i swallowed hard,
letting go...

u ran away,
i regretted,suddenly awaken.
rushing,i chased upon you.
i sense an ache,
u were still running,i'm catching up.
gushing.

finally,
i manage to reach u.
then,i chose o hide.
re-started,my uncontrollable,indescribable self-reproach.
u entered that door,i chased in again.
the mall is huge,u're lost in sight,
i cried.
panicked,u were gone forever.
next to the escalator,i knelt down and cry.
the cry that cries out loud,screaming my heart out.
i'm...i think i'm lost and finally,i face my pain.

someone wanted to help,
i declined.
i saw the scissors the florist had,
i dash,i wan the sharp blades to seperate my skin.
i wish myself pathetic,
so you'll show up,
and again i can b in ur arms.
i need you,i cant let u go.
desperate measures to keep u,
foolish love has gotten me.

people tries to help,
they ran after me,
i dodged,increasing speed.
my arm's wounded,
blood gushing out.
i'm still crying,
this feeling.

i wake...
quiet,
this feeling lingers...
i recap,
this dream is so real.
my heart links.



yc